just when i thought it was safe to relax into the ease and security of my routine…..i knew what to expect. i was in control. i was thriving within my self-imposed structures and scheduling. ha! how quickly and easily i forget – as the saying goes: the only constant is change. i knew it was coming – we all do, don’t we? but, but, my comfort zone felt so, you know, comfortable.
over the past 18 months, i dedicated myself to a daily practice (which i’ve chronicled in detail on this blog’s earlier posts). it was a practice that i created. it met many of my needs and desires. it made me feel safe AND it challenged me, so that i came to know that this practice was a potent catalyst for my personal growth, development and healing. simply stated: the practice helped me.
and now, whooosh, it’s gone.
and like all treasured things whose impermanent nature is often blindly denied – reality reveals herself – and things and people and experiences we love…..disappear from our lives.
the early morning hours used to be the time of day that i filled with my yoga practice. now, the early morning hours are filled with a different kind of practice…..still yoga, but with a focus that has shifted from ME to US.
these days, at 6am, instead of cleansing myself, preparing my altar, and sitting down to begin an hour of asana, pranayama and meditation – i am preparing a nutritious and pleasing breakfast for our two oldest daughters (who have to catch a school bus at 7am). i am washing and drying breakfast dishes. i am helping my girls prep and pack their school lunches. i am intentionally trying to create an atmosphere of ease, and comfort, and sweetness to linger in my daughters’ hearts as they leave their home to participate in another day in the life of the american middle school-er. and……as soon as they depart, round two begins. our two youngest daughters wake up, and i repeat the process, the practice, our practice.
the practice of the householder – always challenging the individual to stretch and sacrifice for the good of the family.
familyoga looks like this. karma yoga. the yoga of action. the yoga of service. i choose this. i will grieve the loss of that which i loved. i adapt. i will honor this practice, still the yoga, to be fully experienced in its myriad of forms and dedications.
i have found a few mornings (when i’m not leaving the house to teach a class) to practice asana and meditation once our daughters have left. maybe i will find time and space at night, before bed, for my daily practice. maybe the practice will remain this: setting the table, serving the meal, planting good-bye kisses on foreheads.
lastly, i feel the need to remind myself that i am blessed. i realize that some mothers are racing out the door at 6 or 7am to get to a job, or to drop kids off at school or daycare and THEN get to a job. so, i will not take for granted our precious mom and daughter mornings. moms make the world go round – blessings to all the mothers out there – and fathers! you rock too!! namaste.